strong but weak;

Mid Years Examination is in three days, and yet there’s still so much nonsense going on.
Friends can be right behind you gossiping about you, then the next moment they’re having their signature smile like as if they haven’t said anything bad about you behind of you. Is that a skill that can be mastered overnight?
No it’s not? Oh, then I’m happy to not have that skill. Ironic right. Who wouldn’t want a skill?
But I just find it scary how some people can just transform into someone else, straight away.
I could really use a time machine right now. I don’t understand how anyone can gossip about person B, and next moment, talk to person B like as if he/she is their best friend or something. I mean, do you not know what’s self-respect? Don’t you know what’s dignity? Nobody can take away our self-respect if we don’t give it to them in the first place. You are saying that no one gives your respect, and that is because you haven’t been giving yourself respect in the first place.
Haven’t you heard? “Respect yourself, and others will respect you.” Why make your self look like you’re so desperate for a friend? Walk tall, or don’t walk at all.
Not like I’ve never been there for you, I’ve always been there for you, it’s just that you never realise, or who knows? You might not even have been treating me as someone whom you can rely on.
I’m all defensive and stubborn outside, but that doesn’t mean I have no feelings. 
Call yourself good friends when you don’t even know me. Friends indeed.
Every single day this year, I have more and more difficulties staying asleep, I’m tired like hell, but somehow it’s either I can’t fall asleep, or I’ll just wake up in the middle of the night, and trying to go back to sleep, but to no avail. I would kill to turn back the time. 
I need God to give me assurance, I need Him to take away all my troubles, and Him to help me focus.
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