Time sure passes fast.

In the blink of an eye, it’s already mid-June.

If you think of the big picture, I’m 1/4 done with A levels already (provided if I promote).
Well honestly speaking, the past 3 months of school was extremely energy draining.

Actually, “energy draining” is an understatement. It’s not about the rigour of the syllabuses or the workload, it is more about the packed schedule we have. Having to juggle both your CCA and academics, is definitely not an easy task, and so sometimes I really do envy national players from the best few schools eg. Raffles. Putting that aside, and what sucks even more is that I find my passion being reignited in the midst of all the business.

The right thing at a wrong time is a wrong thing.” 
This is probably the most appropriate quote to describe my current situation.

Bowling. I’ve been in that sport since 2007, so that marks this year the 8th year I’ve been bowling.
Ever since young, bowling had a special place in my heart.

No matter how sick, tired I was, I would never skip training. Even if I wasn’t in my best form to bowl, I would sit by the bowlers’ area and watch others train. Then in P6, when all bowlers were invited to SSP’s bowling selections, I told myself that SSP is where I want to go upon graduation. So after the trials, those who were interested eagerly waited for SSP’s reply. I was accepted, but my parents refused to send me to SSP and why?

Like many others, they felt that being a sportsman wasn’t practical, and that I wouldn’t be as successful/rich as I would be, if I end up as a doctor/lawyer/etc. But you see, sometimes in life, it’s not about one’s socio-economic status. A person can earn all the money he wants in the world, but at the end, is he truly happy?

Adding on, truth be told, ever since young, I was never one who was academically inclined. I got kicked out of at least 3 top tuition centres just because I wasn’t “smart enough” for them, and based on my primary school results, my parents clearly knew that I didn’t have the abilities to enter any good secondary schools except SMSS, due to affiliation, and yet they had high hopes, and crossed out the idea of me pursuing the sport that I’m interested in. But they didn’t see was that SSP offers more than just a “path to being a sportsman”. They do give students a choice to get out of that by taking the O level path, and they produce good results too. And hey, they have IB programme too. (I’m not trying to advertise for SSP btw)

So back to the point, upon graduation from SMPS, I proceeded to SMSS, and it was then, when I lost my drive to pursue bowling. In my 4 years of school training there, I played it all away. I don’t understand why I didn’t seek for private coaching outside. So much more could have been done to my bowling. But yet, nothing was done. Skills remain stagnant/deproved.

After SMSS, I went on to SAJC (yes, once a saint always a saint haha), chose to go back to bowling because I decided that I didn’t want to stop bowling just yet. Was just not ready to quit bowling. Bowled another lousy series at inter schools (nothing changed ever since sec 1). But through A Divisions, I was just so motivated by my team mates and other bowlers from other schools, that I decided to seek coaches for private training. I felt the want to bowl everyday even if I was already so drained out from school. Bowling is just so therapeutic to me. The sound of pins crashing, the small(?) gush of wind that rushes to your face when you slide. And it’s almost like all my problems are gone when I step onto the lanes.

Amidst the preparation for Common Tests which is right after the June holidays, I had a wild thought of becoming a national bowler. I know for sure that the chances are very slim, but I want a chance. As of now, the earliest I could qualify for nationals selection would be in 2015/16, as I would need to complete the whole of COE programme which would take 2-3 years since SBF stopped having open roll offs for national youth selections after 2013 batch.

To be honest, I would be more than willing to take up the programme if school was only on weekends, but sadly, it isn’t. So it’d mean that I just made my already packed schedule even more packed. Apart from school training which is already twice a week, if I were to join COE, that would be a total of 4 trainings per week. I haven’t and will never dread trainings, but I dread the fact that even after all the trainings, I have to get myself back to what truly is the “key to success”, that is, graphings, Born Haber’s Cycle and what not.

I’m just really very confused about whether or not I should join the COE programme.


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