Seek

Despite being a spendthrift, I have never been one to be swayed by money. Ever since young, my parents would try to bribe me into studying for my tests, exams by telling me that they’d award me with the latest Nintendo, or latest phone model or even cash on certain occasions. But I would never study for the sake of doing well so that I could “reap my harvest”.

At 18, an age where I can earn my own spending as an extra source of income, I should be looking at it as an opportunity for me to buy greater and more expensive items with the additional income but I really do not have this motivation. 

I really dread going to work. Maybe it’s just the job I’ve been choosing for myself but I really just don’t see myself growing to like it despite the pay and flexible hours. I just don’t see the need to bore myself for 8 hours a day for that extra $50-70. I would rather bore myself at home than at work. 

Last year, I chose to work at Adventure Cove, Resorts World as a Ride Attendant and to put it nicely, I worked for a span of approximately 2 months, but in fact, I only worked for 6 days (2 days on Corporate Induction and another 4 for training purposes) and was earning $8.50-9/hour which is honestly very high considering most part time jobs are paying around $6-7/hour. But I quit because I wasn’t getting much satisfaction from the job. 

Ever since then, I never wanted to get another job. I mean, I did. I did want to work at Boost or Baskin Robbins when I was in Perth, but no one replied to my application. Wouldn’t scooping ice creams, or blending drinks be fun?

Then today, I started work at Starbucks as a part-time barista and maybe it’s the beginning but I really don’t see this ending well. I’m aware that I have a really bad habit of quitting if something isn’t obligatory/compulsory, or necessary or simply not making me happy and emotionally satisfied. 

(This is in no way criticising Starbucks, so please don’t take it that way). I have always wanted to learn how to make drinks at Starbucks, or simply make coffee, and learn latte art. My shift was from 9:30AM-6PM. I think it might be due to the heavy human traffic but I was left alone most of the time and I spent the day clearing tables, and cleaning dishes. 

Call me proud or an elitist but I just feeel judged when I clear tables and clean dishes the entire day. Even I myself judge myself for feeling that way because I don’t look at people who do jobs like these, the way I look at myself. 

I can still greet customers, and ask about them but I cannot or find it extremely hard to establish any form of eye contact while clearing their tables. At this point, if you’re reading, you’re probably judging and frowning but please understand that I don’t want to feel that way, I just do. My sub-conscious just seems to equate ‘me cleaning tables’ and ‘inferior’ together. 

After today, I really wonder if I’m suited for the Service industry. I can’t adopt the “Customer is always right” mentality. If I know the customer is wrong, I won’t pacify he/she just to keep him from leaving. But if I’m wrong, I will definitely apologise of course. 
I had dinner with Hee Seung today and I’m just so grateful for her. For the past few months, whenever people asked me my plans for the future, what I wanted to be, I always told them, “I don’t know what I want to be, but I want to study Law” which never fails to baffle them. “You want to study Law, so you want to be lawyer is it?” No I don’t, I didn’t say that. I want to study Law because I’m interested in it as a subject, a teaching. You can pay for an education but you definitely cannot buy a career. You can’t pay to be a lawyer (I mean excluding bribery and social connections). 

And today, Hee Seung and I related to one another on this topic so well. We were just talking about what we wanted to do in the future and both of us weren’t sure. But what we were sure of, was what we wanted to study in University. Medicine for her and Law for me. But then she added that she can’t see herself being a doctor, and I understood because I feel the same.

I don’t see myself rebutting a fellow lawyer in the Supreme Court about human ethics and nature. I don’t see myself fighting for a mother for the custody of her four children. I also don’t see myself representing a fugitive to plead for a lighter sentence or to prove him guilty or whatsoever. 

But all I know is, I’m interested in the study of Law and its connection with the structure of business organisations which is why I wish to study Business/Corporate Law. 

Life is filled with uncertainties. Studying Medicine does not guarantee you a degree, what more a spot in a world-class private/government hospital or even license to open your own clinic. Studying Law also does not necessarily mean you’d be on the right side of the law. 

Who knows about the probability of things going right or wrong? What if you realise that you don’t like what you’re studying halfway through the degree? What if upon graduation, you decide to be a legal advisor instead of a barrister? A charity doctor instead of a well-known physician/specialist? A lecturer instead of your awarded Bachelor title? 

I guess the best way is to go for what you want and then worry and deal about the consequences after right?

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