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I’m not quite sure if you’ll ever see this. One because you don’t really meddle into my private space and two, because at least for now, you seem absolutely disinterested in anything that concerns the family.

This post, to give a heads up, is going to be filled with a lot of “I’m not sure” and “I don’t know how”. Basically a lot of uncertainties on my part. 

To begin, I don’t know what hit you. Could it have been due to the passing of your younger brother that made you so impossibly frustrated and blinded to everything that it’s okay for you to ditch your daughters out of spite and hatred (for only you know what)?

To ditch your children is one but to give your parents unnecessary worry and burden, really takes you to a whole new level. As someone less than half your age,  I can already see that they are hurting and all you’re doing is adding salt to their wound, adding fuel to fire. Maybe it’s just because I’m the third party in the situation but nevertheless, you should know better than to give additional problems to your aged parents. Almost as if the death of one of their child (what more the youngest) isn’t a big enough blow to them. 

I don’t know what my tone in this post should be because frankly, I really feel very disappointed in you for many things, but on the same hand, I’m bewildered by your obnoxious, inconsiderate behaviour towards your own family members – supposedly the people who you should love most or at least treasure most after realising our fragile lives can be. 

I may have angered you with my persistence on the guitar issue but that shouldn’t have hit the nerve for you to give up on your family. Family, for me is the group of people where you develop the most intimate, closest and trustable relationships with. Maybe that’s why you can give up because we never actually developed that feeling mutually. 

As much as I could have possibly disappointed or insulted (in God knows what way) for making the decision to change from Australia to UK, I’m curious as to what nicked that portion of your heart, that made you so cruel – to give up on your younger daughter who has done no wrong to you. I may, in your point of view, deserve the treatment you’re giving us but ask yourself, what has she done to deserve this?

Her entire life, was created and destroyed by you single-handedly. How is it that you can just give her up, not feeling any sense of guilt or remorse for making her life turn out this way? 

Also, are you seriously angry at my decision of studying another, and probably more intellectually demanding major instead of one that I find hold little challenge of? Are you encouraging me to take the easy way out of life?

I’m 18 (well, almost), and I think what I need most now, is the financial support that you have not been giving. I don’t need the parental figure that many people of my age require because I think I’m independent, or at least, mature enough to think about what’s right and wrong. 

What I detest most about you, is your tendency to condescend. You always want people to bow down to you, to be of someone with a higher level which you are not. As the breadwinner of the family, your way of making people “submit” to you, is by cutting the only support they need from you – finance. Which to me, is not only sick but also cruel. But thankfully, not to the extent that I’d satisfy you by bowing down and asking for it because I have my own pride to take care of. 

Not to be blunt but in the future, when I am capable of providing for you and mummy, don’t blame me if I don’t provide for you, or when I don’t provide just because I don’t feel like it as it is the one thing that you are astonishingly great at doing. By giving people zero, or at least, false sense of security. By making them suffer or live lavishly at your control. 

Conversely, I don’t want to be like who you are and were because I don’t want to paint such an image for my children. I don’t want them to grow up thinking that it’s okay for parents to be like this just cause “I am your mother/father.” 

And to give you the benefit of the doubt, maybe you turned out like that because of how you were brought up. But for you to not realise how wrong it is, really diminishes any degree of hope for you, in me. 

A certain portion of me is curious about your thought process. Another is angry at how you are avoiding (not even handling) all of these problems. Another is sad for you. And a small part of me, still wish that you’d stop being so selfish. But you have proven to me time and again that I should extinguish even that little tint of hope I have in you. 


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