I tend to treat every birthday of mine as an indication that 365 has passed because I feel that it’s easier that way – to remember what happened last birthday than to recall what happened on New Years, at least for me.
Before reading this, I actually read the post I did on my 17th and I realised, while looking back that many things have changed.
Friendships, perception of people, life in general and myself as a being.
Reading my 17th birthday post reminded me that this year, I won’t be celebrating it with the same people I did last year. And it also made me think about how much can change within a short span of one year.
Turning 18, is in itself an accomplishment and probably a milestone. I think when you turn 18, you sort of reach a cross road where you can finally decide what you want to do, how you want to achieve that goal. It’s the first checkpoint in life that you can actually make a call at. Also, when you actually have to start being responsible for your own misdeeds.
And sometimes I think, how lucky I am to have a roof over me for the past 18 years. How lucky I am to have a mum that I know I can depend on no matter what happens (although she doesn’t like it as she says that we should never rely on anyone because people are just accustomed to let you down “lesser the expectations, lesser the disappointments”).
I really will be eternally grateful for my mum. She showed me what it’s like to “grit your teeth and go for it.” Stand up and knock the people who knocked you down twice as hard, show them that you’re not a pushover. She made impossible, possible. She holds so much strength and is so firm that I really aspire to be how she is like. I do not want to back down when faced with evil (不向恶势力低头). I want to scorch through it and I know it’s possible because my mum showed me the way.
Mum, you too probably won’t see this. But I would like to dedicate my 18th birthday to you. Thank you for being my mother. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be. Thank you for showing me the way. Thank you for everything. I love you 💓
Anyway, for my 18th, I spent it at Zouk with a few of my friends and it was quite a memorable night but definitely not something I see myself doing on a frequent basis. I just don’t see myself there. It’s just not who I am. I mean, I’m okay with drinking. I enjoy the fun in drinking. But clubbing, is really just something awkward and out of my nature.
Before going to Zouk, I had dinner at my Grandma’s and Godma’s. And honestly, I enjoyed the dinner at my Godma’s so much more. I felt so much more at ease and loved. Then it really hit me, just because you are family, doesn’t mean you are definitely capable of providing the same magnitude of love than a person who’s not blood-related to that someone.
And you know how people always say, “family is very important, treasure them”? Truth is, it depends on the family you build. Some people really have great, loving and warm family and some don’t. You can’t possibly blame those whose parents abused them while they are young, for not being grateful when they become successful right?
I, love to believe I have a very endearing family. My mum, despite the countless of times she has told me off for every single thing, I still love her. My sister, despite the number of times she pissed me off so badly, sometimes I secretly wished she wasn’t my sister, but end up regretting that thought anyway because it’s just how elder sisters are right? (Remove the question mark because I don’t need your acknowledgment!!! Kidding heh).
My God Ma for being the one who always secretly helped me finish my leftover (when I was a child) so I could have the last ice lolly in the fridge without getting scolded by my mum. She would literally pour the entire bowl of rice (I ate very little as a kid) into her mouth when my mum went to the toilet. She was also the one who sort of pulled me out of my rebellious phase. The one who scolded me for being the ignorant kid I was a few years back when my mum wasn’t in Singapore. Her mum (my God Grandma), for always loving us with her graciousness, patience and genuinity. For always praying for us. For always saving me from my mum’s caning when I was young hehe.
And my Kakak (helper). Honestly, without her, I don’t think my mum could have pulled through all the shit she went through. Kakak was the one who listened to all our whinings, the one who dealt with all our terrible tantrums, consoled us while we ranted about people in our life (although she’s quite bitchy herself too :P).
This is my family. The people who were there through thick or thin, through happiness or sadness. The so-called “family” that I have, the people weren’t there for us when we needed them. They were the one who put us in the state of needing help. Even if they could help, they didn’t. And when we survived through all the shit they threw us into, the started crediting themselves for our success. This is when, I learnt that one’s mental strength isn’t innate but forced and nurtured from the environment and people they are around.
And and, November has been quite a great month so far. Saw Taylor Swift and Julian Cheung up-close/live!!!! Taylor Swift is so magical and enchanting and unreal. Her concert IS a masterpiece. She is so humble, something that a lot of artistes nowadays lack due to the fame. But Taylor Swift is just soooo down to earth and lovely and just genuinely thankful for her fans. We’re just as equally thankful for her being her :’)
And Julian Cheung. He might as well just be the sole Mr Hong Kong for 1971-2015. For those who have no idea who is he, he is Captain Cool from Triumph in the Skies!!! He is so impossibly charismatic (his eyes and smile and hair and built), cute (DIMPLES), good-looking and loving towards his family members (and his fans)??
Knowing that he would be in town for promoting an upcoming movie, being very enthusiastic fanatics of his, my friend and I waited very patiently at the airport (for 12 hours) in hopes to “bump” into him so we could ask for an autograph and perhaps, a picture. After a Meet-and-Greet session he had with his fans on 9th Nov, 8pm, my friend and I swiftly made our way to the airport so that we wouldn’t miss any flights. Waited from 9:30pm to almost 9am, and we caught him at 8:50am :’) He was so nice about it when I asked if we could take a picture? (Before 10 other fans barged out from the airport (we were at the Drop Off point) and literally threw themselves onto him for a picture, BEFORE the person who actually ASKED). And I managed to get an autograph too yay. It got rubbed off a little after though, but it’s okay, I traced it back *inserts moon emoji*.
So just generally, November has been great so far except for the fact that I haven’t been able to get much sleep. (Brain has been too active, over nothing). And I think it’s gonna get better cause I’m going Korea with Hee Seung at the end of this month!!! (Was supposed to go US with my childhood friend but he decided to ditch :<)
Well anyway, this post is a long one, and I hope those whose November has been quite mundane, will get better and those whose November has been great, will stay the same or even better!! SMILE FOR CHRISTMAS IS COMING :-)